I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way too literal for me.
~Mitch Hedburg~
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way too literal for me.
~Mitch Hedburg~
Then again it’s much better to be pissed off than pissed on!
Well no treats for that fucker then!
The evidence before the court is incontrovertible
There’s no need for the jury to retire
In all my years of judging, I have never heard before
Of someone more deserving of the full penalty of law
The way you made them suffer, your exquisite wife and mother
Fills me with the urge to defecate
Since my friend you have revealed your deepest fear
I sentence you to be exposed before your peers
Tear down the wall
You’re damn straight I’m gonna give that sumbitch a bone! Whole dang bag matter of fact!
Come on now
I hear your feeling down
Well I can ease your pain
And get you on your feet again…


I say get high all you want, just don’t come back here and tell this fool about it!
This is a very graphic meme!
Wasn’t she the First Incestual little Lady?


Asshole Intelligence is going to be the end of us!


How are you gonna protect your face from bees if you remove them or put them to the side? And why ain’t the ear straps adjustable!
So you’re gonna be up in everybody’s business sniffing out crime!
Listen, I was raised on the banana scale so all this talk is foreign to me!


The sonsabitches ain’t pragmatically using their intended use of time that’s for sure!
I’ll bet the ones with legs are even harder to catch!


I know we got a right to bear arms but we shouldn’t have the right to bear dicks!
Well, obviously her bosom buddies are her friends! They just clam and do their job.
Edit: when you think about it though, do you really want a couple of clams in charge of guarding your titties?
Why, the hairy little sumbitch don’t even eat!