I’ll take “Things that won’t happen” for 100, Alex.

Check out HMD phones. They have the SD slot and the 3.5mm jack as well. They also have partnered with iFixit so that you can replace parts as well.

https://www.hmd.com/

Try hanging them and watch the wrinkles fall away. Other ways you could always get some of those sport tops that breath. Should help with the heat.

Said ye who has not experienced Extreme Ironing.

Louder for those in the back, please.

So dd-mm-yyyy?