When I was in my early 20s I was near tears in my doctors office telling her that the health issues I was dealing with were ruining my quality of life and that I was so exhausted and in so much pain all the time that all I could do was go to work and come home and go straight to bed and had been like that for months. I was near suicidal and extremely depressed. She said “stop being dramatic, you could have cancer”.

Why can’t I find partners who ask questions like that? We’d never run out of things to talk about.

I work in EMS. I was transporting a patient to the hospital one time for a minor complaint and was making small talk in the back of the ambulance. She mentioned wishing she could go on a vacation and I said something about how that sounded amazing and I hadn’t had a vacation in years. I asked where she would want to go. She started listing off psych hospitals and debating with herself which ones she wanted to go to for her “vacation”. Personally, I was thinking about hiking in the woods or swimming in the ocean, but I guess some people want to be locked in a psych ward.

“that’s why I say hey man nice shot”

I’m not a NYC resident, so I can’t vote in their election, but I wouldn’t vote for Cuomo if I was!

:)

(Not a bot)

So I take hours to fall asleep if I’m on a day shift schedule (I can go to bed at 9 or 10 and still be awake come 4 or 5 am) but when I work night shift and go to bed at 8 or 9 am I’m asleep within 15-30 minutes. I don’t usually dream that often, it seems to correspond more with my mental health. If I’m going through it I dream more. I think it’s both an escape mechanism and my brain’s way of processing things. Normally I don’t notice I start dreaming right away when I am in a full night’s sleep, but I’ve definitely hit the 5 minute snooze on my alarm, fallen back asleep, and had an entire intricate dream before the alarm woke me up 5 minutes later. I can also get incredibly amazing 3 minute long power naps and go from being dead on my feet to completely refreshed and ready to go for hours. No surprise, my sleep schedule is fucked. I work nights and go to school days and sometimes go 24-40 hours without getting sleep and actually function pretty well.

My partner at the time also witnessed both cats having a cat fight on top of me while I was asleep and said I never stirred. He also once found one of the cats sitting on my chest, slapping me repeatedly across the face and crying little distressed meows, unable to wake me. Now that I’m single I’m still a heavy sleeper, but I wake up if the cats call for me. I’ve also had a couple people throughout my life tell me that I’m such a still and quiet sleeper that they had to check my pulse because they couldn’t tell if I was breathing and they started to get scared.

A few years ago I had small unexplained tender bruises on my chest and arms that would not heal for several months, long enough that I was beginning to get a little concerned (is it cancer?).

One night I was lying awake at 3am when one of my cats chased the other into my bedroom and onto my bed. 4 paws came flying onto me, perfectly landing on each tender bruise before launching back off of me, then the other cat landed on me with his paws in the same spots before jumping off in chase of his furry friend.

Mystery solved, and that’s how I figured out just how heavy of a sleeper I am. My cats had been using my sleeping body as a launchpad for months and I was none the wiser until I happened to be awake.

Me all the time talking to my cat:

“Girl you are fat as fuck… … … It’s ok. Me too.”

We’re both working on it.