Instructions not clear. All I got was goatse and a stinky after taste.

2/10

Maybe it’s haunted by a drunk cow?

Course IDs vary from university to university—when I was an undergrad, lower div classes were <100, upper div between 100 and 199, and grad level classes 200+.

When you both shit hard enough together at the same time and wonder to yourselves “was that splashback mine…?”

Quench your thirst with sausage infused water by throwing a respectable number of Vienna sausages in one of those infuser bottles.

A crow eating chicken and a human eating beef are actually really good parallels. Crows and chicken are 91 million years diverged while cows and humans 94 million years diverged.

Dollar Store John Travolta: I Shit Myself Edition

tar -xvzf Coffee.tar.gz americano

my favorite feature is that it’s a smart device—you connect it with your phone via proprietary app and it tells you the temperature of your counter top. Also for a low monthly subscription fee it will also recite the screen play of a random episode of friends in 4 languages simultaneously, none of which are English, Spanish, Arabic, or Mandarin.

A miasma of post-Doritos farts, ass sweat, and uncleaned litter box.

The feeling of the spray hitting your skin will be akin to feeling piss aerosols/drops hit your leg when wearing shorts and using one of those urinals that extend to the floor.

Raw?

It’s not that I’m not a morning person, it’s that I hate the realization of having woken up again.